Directions for roasting a pig, should you be hiding one in your basement:
Step One: Find a Pig. The phone book or an internet search is a good start. Most places that sell whole pigs also rent roasters. You will probably need a trailer hitch to haul the roaster home.
Step Two: Determine the Size. A 50 pound pig will serve 80-120 people depending on their appetites.
Step Three: Decide If You Want the Pig Mounted on a Spit. We have gone both ways on this. Once we bought the pig from a farmer and rented the roaster separately. We had to stick the pole through the cavity and tie the pig to the spit. Not really that fun. Then we had to remove the legs so it fit in the roaster. Also not that fun.
Step Four: Timing. The pig needs to be slow roasted. Our experience has been the longer the better. Plan in plenty of roasting time. Once it is roasting there is not too much to do except keep the fire going. We add more coal every hour. If you want to start it early in the morning you will need to keep it cold overnight. Spread some plastic on the garage floor. Set the pig on it and pack it with plenty of ice. They first pig we did we used a child’s swimming pool.
Step Five: Carving and Serving: Now it is show time. Your guests have been watching and smelling the pig roast and the anticipation is building. Some people will not want to watch and others will be fascinated by the process. Some parts will be tender enough to just slice and other parts will need to be shredded with forks.